~1 year ago...

here i am trying to shorten my crim law outline and suddenly i realize that my mom was right, again. one of these days-not today-ill admit it. some friends new and old said the same thing, but i wasnt hearing it. ive been struggling a little (a lot) with this new relationship of mine and i couldnt figure out what was keeping me from moving forward. maybe i knew all along and was just afraid of saying it out loud. this sucks, not much i can really do about it now. just have to wait and see what happens. maybe ill get lucky for once and this thing will work itself out, even if it means starting all over again. im too lazy, lost my patience, i havent meditated in weeks, things shouldnt be this difficult...i dont think i want to try again. why am i writing in code all the time? what`s the point of writing this blog at all if only i can decipher it and will i even understand this weeks from now?

i moved last weekend. not into a 1br downtown or in chestnut hill like i planned to, but all the way up northeast, 5 miles from the bucks county line in this townhouse with my mom and sister. craziness. i might have to stay in west oak lane for finals next week unless i can leave at 6am...and i dont know what will happen next semester.

Nasira

Nasira, originally uploaded by vanese.

I`m an aunt twice over. Here`s a pic of my brother`s daughter a couple of days old. She looks just like my brother. I thought they were going to name her Dilynn -Michelle (sp?) so she would have his same initials (DMC). oh well. My mom calls her Summer and her other granddaughter Storm because she was born on the morning of that big snowstorm back in february. My brother calls her Naz ;) And everyone keeps looking at me thinking i`m going to give them a grandson some day....

when in rome...

my birthday is tomorrow, monday, but i`ve been partying since thursday...skipped the beach trip this morning but dont think i can pass tomorrow night because my roommate and i have the same birthday. last night wasnt so bad...we just went to this bar-club to watch the world cup game and then stayed to dance (all 90s hip-hop for some reason) for a little while and i didnt drink much at all (and passed on all the free drinks i was offered). but then most of the group went to a second bar afterwards and ended up in a middle of some fight with riot cars and everything...one of the guys was trying to stop a fight and got hit in the head with a bottle, tooth chipped and bloody lip, and was actually handcuffed until 2 of the girls begged for him to be released somehow...a few of us got a cab back home to hang out at the apartments because i knew some drunk american or italian might start something.

it really is like some crazy eurotrip: drugs (popping and snorting ritalin???!!!, smoking weed/hash, whatever else they do when i dont hang out with them), alcohol (tequila, yager bombs, limoncello shots are really good though), sex (not me), and some sightseeing in between. i mean it is a lot of fun, but not when you cant remember someone getting beat up (not me) and not when you can`t hold your alcohol (that`s me). i think it`s so ironic that i ended up with roommates that are the leaders of the "cool" group in this summer program...jocks and party animals who are a really bad influence (and half of them are on Pass/Fail for the summer because they dont go to temple). my legs were still hurting from thursday night clubbing until 4am but i went to my 10am class tried and not completely sober yet.

havent missed any classes yet and dont plan to because i`m definitely getting grade boosts for all the participation...i love my intl business law class and im always talking in that class...will be really shocked if i dont get A`s in both classes. and goal #2 is exploring italy so i usually hang out with some quieter friends during most of the week. we tried to go to the vatican museum yesterday and rolled out of bed at 8:30 and the line stretched for a mile seriously ( i still cant believe we live like around the corner from the pope) so we just walked up the street to this famous castel and then over to the famous avenues. oh and i got a "big tasty" from the mcdonald`s directly across from the pantheon...was craving beef and convinced the quiet group to "research" the mcdonald`s with me ;)

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father`s day...havent seen my dad in months so dont think it will matter if i dont call him from italy. my brother`s about to be a father soon, hopefully not before i get back home, and i`ll have another niece to spoil like crazy.

american soil

so ive been back on american soil for a month now...it was a little weird at first it took me more than a few days to get over the 13hr time difference and stop saying stuff in japanese to strangers ;)...i had a long layover in newark and decided to just wait there instead of having people pick me up in new jersey because i wanted those few hours to prepare myself for it all. im glad i did stay in nj because i ended up meeting this guy also on his way to philly (coming from DR) and we talked for 2 hrs and then another hour on the plane (he switched his seat to sit next to me). i dont usually have the best luck with men but this one is practically made-to-order perfect...gorgeous, intelligent, well-traveled, trilingual, funny, down-to-earth, caring, honest, a true gentleman, great career, no kids etc etc im still trying to figure out why he`s so interested in me. according to one of my sisters, he`s my soulmate. i dont know about all of that but i have decided to just let this thing continue to develop and see what happens...not sure what will happen once law school starts but i guess if im really serious about him 6 weeks from now who knows...

besides spending time with this new guy, ive been reading mostly philosophy, religion, and health books (ive developed food allergies), practicing zazen whenever possible, doing yoga and pilates, learning more spanish and brushing up on my french (for now im satisfied with being able to read some chinese), and taking roadtrips with family and friends. ive also been putting together a whole new look and wardrobe so i wont be mistaken for a high schooler...trying out different hairstyles...catching up on pop culture...working on my driver`s license finally...getting ready to be a student again in my hometown at temple law... and trying to be supportive of my youngest sister`s pregnancy even though id rather she not have this baby for a hundred different reasons besides the most obvious.

see? no time for a job, besides i wasnt too eager to go back to work after this past year of 9 to 5 in a field that i became less and less interested in day after day until one night i actually packed up all my things ready to catch the first flight anywhere as long as it was headed across the pacific (i even thought about paying for the ticket myself). but i still managed to grow and learn and experience as much as possible while i was in japan so i`m definitely not sorry that i went, i just cant believe i actually convinced myself i could do this corporate engineering thing for a year. lesson learned: a great location cant always compensate for a not so great job.

just felt like updating this blog; maybe ill include some real details next time.