sinziru

sekkaku no getuyoobi no daiganjouju da kara...

itsudemo watasi o sirabete imasen desita-daitai moo wakatta kara. watasi no koto wa, mada wakarimasu. tabun kanari kawaranai n desu. de mo sinpai ga hitotu arimasita: watasi no hoshii mono mo iru no mo yoku wakaru. ikitai ikitakunai basho mo naritai naritakunai hito mo onazi kanzi desu. soo iu koto wa, itsumo wakatte imasita. sikashi zinsei no mitiwa yoku wakaranai n desu. hakkiri mienakute sugoku muzukashii....`nan de ikimasu? doo siyoo? doko kara? itsu made? doo shitaraii` zenzen wakannai.

miti wa shibshiba taisetu desu kedo dottimiti doo suru koto itsumo daizi na n da to omoimasu. nandemo dokodemo mainiti watasi ga ganbarimasu. semete mainiti mi ni tsukeru. mottomo zyuuyoo na koto desu.

nihongo de situree simasita....no need for translation. everything ive said above has been said time and time again i just felt like writing it a different way and in japanese because of its significance in this case. atleast i used roman characters instead of chinese/japanese :)
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some japanese proverbs:

kaze fukeba okeya ga moukaru :: lit. when the wind blows the bucketshop profits. fig. everything/one is connected in some way
warau kado ni wa fuku ga kitaru :: lit. fortune comes to a street corner of someone smiling
suru no wa sippai, nani mo sinai no wa daisippai :: lit. doing is a mistake, not doing is a huge mistake
kaze no naka de sodatta ki wa, ne ga tsuyoi :: lit. the roots of a tree that grew up in the wind are strong
zennin no ueta ki :: lit. a tree planted by predecessors

working holidays

i have monday and tuesday off to go on a business trip, alone this time.

2 free holidays, shopping, and weekday late afternoon naps (yummy sleep) in my very nice company-paid hotel room overlooking tokyo bay, steps away from the conference site. the nano symposium-the reason for the trip-should be great too, featuring famous japanese and western scientists and nobel laureates...meaning, unlike all the other events, i get to hear some english.

i love the long country/mountainside train rides and huge bookstores and good restaurants and free entertainment everywhere you look; the only downside about going to tokyo is that it always makes me wonder about firecodes and if there are any in japan...

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after work friday i went to this mall looking for some new shoes and all of a sudden this tall black man comes from behind me. out of nowhere it seemed. 2 of the questions he asked me: do you speak english? do you have any japanese ancestry? (a good excuse for him to stare at me for a while). as silly as they seemed at first, i`m used to those questions now. the funny thing is i couldnt help thinking how out of place he was...as if i fit in any better ;) he ended up in japan thru the air force and now lives in some little country town north of here.

that brings the count to 2 black people in hitachi, if i include that drive-by guy, although neither live here unfortunately.

random thoughts

1) i havent seen any black people in a long time. not even on tv which was why i was so caught off-guard when i switched on the tv in my hotel room; i dont have espn....my first day home i might end up staring at black people in philly like the japanese people stare at me.

2) before the lsat started we had to copy this really long certification/identification paragraph and it said `do not print`. my printing isnt so great even when i make an effort...sometimes i cant even read it; my cursive is just horribly laughable. i couldnt even remember how to write a few letters. i really didnt see how my illegible mixture of cursive and print-i couldve wrote anything-was more legally-binding/legitimate than all print and a signature (no one could ever copy mine). but oh well atleast laughing about my cursive attempt made me less nervous.

i dont know how i forgot how awful my handwriting is. back in august i volunteered to help write addresses on wedding invitations; after my first invitation i volunteered to go back to stuffing envelopes.

3) so it turns out family guy is also doraemon according to grandpa suzuki-man i love him :) i couldnt remember his real name but i needed to ask him about some samples he`s working on for me, so suzuki drew a sketch for me just to make sure we were talking about the same person. hopefully i can keep a straight face when i see doraemon today.

4) i still have my little christmas tree with the silver and gold bells...it`s now a rough measure of earthquake intensity. like the 5.4 at 4:45am today. boss #2 didnt notice that one either. last week the floor and the computer monitors at work were shaking for a good minute, but he needed someone else to confirm that it really was an earthquake???!?? seriously.

sweet relief

whew! finally i`m free!

i had to pass on 2 different ski trips on friday....actually i still cant believe i said no to snow country and nikko, again :( i carried several good luck charms; one causing me to jingle around the city. said a few prayers just in case. listened to `a song of strength` and `no weapon` until i fell asleep....i must say regardless of your beliefs the music and sermons at black churches in particular tend to be very uplifting and inspiring. christian or not, i miss church. for convenience sake, i stayed at a sketchy tokyo hotel...`police are patroling here` a large english sign in the foyer said; paid at check-in and received a key on a big orange keychain..(but the room was very typical of westernstyle japanese hotels: there`s always a tea set, slippers, pjs, and electronic toilets in bathrooms equal to or larger than the actual room but avoid singles if you`re claustrophobic. in fact unless it`s the hyatt or hilton, try a traditional japanese ryokan instead of a hotel). i also dealt with sketchy foreigners (`oh...but do you have a boyfriend in ibaraki?`) and the fact that non-major japanese streets have no names. stiff back and exhausted from walking all saturday, woke up at 630am on sunday to sit in a room for 5 hours.

but it was all worth it. i was so pleased with my performance on the lsat today (late i know) and the relief i feel right now is just amazing.

actually i did have some fun over the weekend including ueno koen famous for its gardens and museums, and the always entertaining eclectic harajuku section of tokyo. and on friday i discovered just how addictive go really is. [try this mac download]. and now that this weekend is over i can get my social life back in order and hang out with my `ibaraki boyfriends`. although on my sick day i did go see the latest miyazaki movie-great but i still think spirited away is the best-and did karaoke last weekend with friends here.

is tomorrow really monday? i need a weekend for my weekend.

zen on a chip

i`m laughing about this now but before november i owned pcs all my life. silly, stubborn me. last summer while working at llarc, i rediscovered the simplicity and beauty and stability of the apple...and then one fall weekend i ended up buying a new g4 ibook. i waited a few months, decided it was indeed worthy of praise, and `christened` her buddha.

david

he`s the closest friend i never knew i had. incredibly strong, loving, and selfless...i`ve known and loved him all my life, but these past few years, i`ve grown more and more in awe. when we were kids, he was my overprotective, hip-hop-, basketball-loving, honest, kindhearted brother, but we didnt share any interests or common friends, and we never spent much time alone together before...different schedules, big family. which is why i`m often surprised by the depth and strength of our relationship, and by how well we know and understand each other. sadly i think our new relationship has a lot to do with the other david. but that`s another post, another time maybe.

toes in the sand

skype
m:... what`s that noise?
v: what? my keyboard?
m: no, it sounds like water.
v: oh, that`s the ocean. youve never heard it before when i called?
m: no. you can hear it like that from inside your room? that would scare me.
v: i can see it too. it rocks me to sleep...

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at dawn, an endless stage for sunrises so amazing it`s almost suffocating to watch. a perfect blue line that sometimes blends a little too well with the sky above. it`s slippery but beautiful. anything could be out there. at night, when all you can see between and below the stars is utter darkness for miles and miles, a far away ship, so close you can touch it, and the sound of waves tell you it`s still there. you look again, and see nothing, and see everything.

you swim.

small wonders

it snowed tuesday. it didnt stick and it only snowed up here on the mountainside where the labs are. i almost missed it...i caught maybe 3 minutes of it, and 20 minutes later when i went back for more it had already stopped. everyone else kept complaining about how cold it was and how great it was that the snow had stopped, but that little snowfall made my afternoon.

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thursdays are great `not sick, just dont feel like going to work, so i called out` days. the night before these days are even better. one of my favorite coworkers was also `sick` yesterday. the only ones out. looks like we had some middle of the week affair. that couldve been fun. except he really did/does have a cold. i shouldve tried looking bummy today or atleast put some hair all over my head. im not very good at this; ive never called out sick before.

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today bus driver from hell-did i mention that i take the same bus at the same times everyday, and every day, every morning and every night there`s a new driver? did i also mention that the route has a lot of hard turns including climbing up a mountain side?-bus driver from hell stole my bus pass. took it out of the cover of my wallet and wouldnt give it back even when i asked to show it to my boss; was it evidence to give to the bus police? like everything in japan it has your name and birthday on it. maybe he`s trying to blacklist me.

no one else noticed including me and i flashed it with a smile every day, but apparently it expired on 12/31/04. he seemed very annoyed as if i had gone out of my way to steal bus rides (the pass only gets me to the company and back) with crazy drivers and as if it meant a pay cut for him and went on talking about last year`s bus pass and $300 worth and it`s already february and yadeeyadeeya and made me pay the fare, $2. i was already off the bus when he called me back. i couldve told him i didnt understand japanese and just went inside to work but that wouldve been wrong-i already lied once this week-and it probably wouldve been hard to convince him i also couldnt read. i`m surprised i kept a straight face though; i found it somewhat amusing that none-and there were many-of the other bus drivers paid much attention to the foreigner`s bus pass with the big black date on it. i never look at it, just flip it open at them like i do with my train pass, but i think it`s their job to check these things. my coworkers found it funny too. i already have my new bus pass and my $2 back.

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