~ a month before leaving japan

sometimes i wonder if i should just join a buddhist monastery or convent somewhere in the mountains and call it a day. or i wish there was some hidden, untouched tribe i could join and limit my contact with the outside world as much as possible. think walden pond or some little obscure village in the south pacific.

everything seems so wrong. i worry too much and sometimes i get this crazy idea that i have to save the world from just about everything...poverty, disease, environmental problems...i went on a zazen retreat this past weekend with 30 union workers from various research backgrounds...it was my second time spending the night in a temple although this one was on a famous buddhist pilgrimage route and was set up like it`s own little town spread out along the base of a mountain on the outskirts of a city southwest of here. i was so jealous of the monks.

my first overnight temple experience, in koyasan, was so brillantly simple and humble and serene and beautiful that i really didnt want to leave...probably the best rest i ever got (the vegetarian meals were amazing too). i probably wouldve been in a state of peace for the rest of the week, if not longer, but the indian ocean tsunami happened a day after i left western japan. if i had made plans ahead of time there`s a good chance i wouldve been spending my winterbreak in malaysia or india.