spiritual revamping

i wrote the following on tuesday*
im finding it harder and harder to convince myself that i should be here. is this really where im supposed to be at this point in my life? none of it is making much sense to me right now and whether i believe in destiny or not i would do anything for a sign that says im headed in the right direction or atleast eventually will be. it doesnt have to be divine intervention just a small token that ill immediately recognize as mine. it seems that most of the things ive been doing up to this point are not fulfilling at all. MIT was unbearable and when i shouldve been upset or atleast disappointed by the conditions under which i completed my sentence i decided that it was an ironically apt ending. the experiences and relationships (and networking opportunities) that i acquired as a result of my association with MIT are the only things i could ever value from those 4 years.

today*
a couple of things happened since then that seem too wonderful and perfect to just pass them off as meer coincidence. and so this weekend i am suddenly on a spiritual mission that was originally inspired internally but has now been sanctioned by external factors this past week. I can`t really explain it all yet but I`m very excited.

On a distantly related note, Fall has arrived in japan and i can only say that this is probably the most beautiful city ive ever seen (I`m told the best season in japan is spring because of the cherry and plum tree blossoms cover the country in pink and white). Today, after almost a week of rain and/or clouds, the weather was so perfect it almost seemed unnatural. Besides the foliage, mountains, ocean sunsets/rises (no skyscrapers to compete with the ocean`s gaze), i am very intrigued by the japanese-style single homes that line the little streets. they are so quaint, each unique and more beautiful in design and landscaping than the next that i wish i could take a tour inside them all.

p.s. my company-paid cell phone arrived today and i just found out that hitachi is letting me borrow one of their computers for home use.