confused as usual

during senior year, i thought about the peace corps, teach for america, going straight to grad school, and the military. i was seriously considering the military up until about 2 months ago. i mentioned it to a few people during the summer. not grad school and then the military, but going straight from japan. it`s still one of my backup plans...i was thinking about a career in something like counterintelligence...traveling alot, learning more languages, retiring early, writing a few books, taking some pictures. recruiters are still calling philly.

honestly ive flip-flopped so much about law school im afraid that the admissions council will see right thru me. some weeks im so excited about law school i wish it was september already, and then some days like yesterday im thinking i might actually be relieved if i dont get into law school and have no concrete plans when i leave japan...probably similar to the strange, sudden relief i felt last june when i happily escorted my family around during graduation weekend.

regardless of where i end up after japan, i was thinking it might be nice to grow old in a socialist country and/or become one of those volunteer-in-third-world-countries-thru-retirement people.

...is there anyway i can get h.r.l. to give me an honorable discharge (w/ pay) other than because of some catastrophic event...and then i could just spend the spring and summer traveling through asia. okay, without pay would be fine too...i could always pick up a job teaching english or something :) or go home, live off my family, and do whatever i feel like doing. i cant believe i lasted this long in japan, as an engineer, working a 9-5. what would happen if i decided to quit?